Wednesday, June 15, 2005

As much as I like being in the band, sometimes I just feel like I don't really belong there. I guess I just never really bonded with the other sec4s. Except maybe for Liz. On the last day of camp, the sec4s had this BBQ that lasted til 4am! OMG. I don't know how they managed that. They looked so awake the next day. Very impressive. So back to the BBQ. Liz and me didn't go. I said I was sleepy. Maybe that was just an excuse to avoid going.

I have to be honest about one thing. I don't feel comfortable around some of the sec4s, shant mention who. It's not that I dislike them or anything like that. It's just that there's just something about them that makes me fear them? I'm just so afraid to be around them. I don't know Perhaps due to this, I'm not intending on joining the Alumni band. That sounds sad doesn't it? But I doubt it would make much of a difference anyway. So. 8th july will be the last concert I'm ever gonna be involved in. Perhaps the last time I'll ever play my instrument. Ya. That sounds depressing. It's not a waste though. I've never been a good player. That's just so bloody obvious. I wont be missed that's for sure. haha.

I spent the whole day at home today. I was just so tired. Slept the afternoon away. I just wasted a nice tuesday afternoon. Could have done so many other things. But yet I chose to do absolutely nothing. Perfect.

Going to Bugis with Liz tomorrow. The Great Singapore Sale has started. A great time to do some shopping. Would probably end up broke by the end of the day. But you know, there are just times when you need to pamper yourself with a little something. =)

Actually, I'm suppose to go for flag day with my class tomorrow. The other day when we went to Ju Eng Home for CIP, someone (i forgot who, think it's peiqi?) asked about the flag day. She saw a poster on the wall. She was interested in it and asked if the class wanted to join her. And well. I volunteered too. So ya. I'm suppose to be standing at Raffles place MRT station for TEN hours tomorrow with a can and lots of stickers. Sounds like fun don't you think? Sense my sarcasm?

But I'm just not in the mood to do a good deed. I really wanted to the day I volunteered. But I guess I just changed my mind.

Yes, that's sounds really bad.
Yes, I'm being very irresponsible.
Yes, I'm being very selfish.
Yes, I do feel guilty.
Yes, I'm very sorry I can't be there.
And yes, I know I broke my promise.

You can't force someone to do something for charity. I think it should really come from the heart. In my opinion, schools shouldn't force their students to do CIP or force them to go for flag day. Isn't it obvious that most students would rather be doing someting else? What's the point of forcing them to do something they don't want to do? Will doing CIP change anything?

posted at 11:45 am